midlife crisis, here i come

the thing is, di ko pa nararamdaman (or in-denial lang ako) that i’m a few years short of my 40s. sa utak ko, nasa mid-20s palang ako… i still like the same things, i feel my attitude is still the same. although i catch myself saying more and more often, “tsk, mga kabataan talaga ngayon! noong panahon namin…” and that serves as my slap in the face. pampagising ba na hindi na ako bata, iba na ang may-ari ng mundo ngayon. you had your turn. iba naman.

although, i find myself more and more convinced that i am right being conservative… i still have my liberal leanings (specially where science comes in, climate change, covid response) though. so i guess i’m independent?

independent thinker, that’s what i’d like to think of myself. hindi freethinker (who are far liberal IMO) na feeling ko ay masyadong mataas ang tingin sa sarili nila. i still believe that i can still listen to other’s POV without having to judge them na parang napakalaking kasalanan ng mag-isip ng bagay na iba sa naiisip nila.

eh paki ko ba sa iniisip ng iba? they don’t feed me. they don’t do what i do. so bakit ko ba iniisip ang opinion nila at mga achievements ko when i’m nearing 40? why should i care? should i care? hay.

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gulu gulu

you’ve probably seen this old clip:

yun lang kasi ang utak ko ngayon: gulu-gulu! XD

we did some rearranging again in the ‘home office’ since A will be moving her station out of the living room. prolly so we can setup the Christmas tree. 😀 it’s october already and no Christmas decors in sight in our home. yes, we play holiday music but no decors yet.

ang hirap kasi mag-celebrate sa ganitong panahon ng pandemya. parang pakiramdam mo na mali dahil ang daming namamatay at nahahawa eh. so there’s that part of you that wants normalcy and the other part that pulls at your humanity. ang gulu gulu talaga!

i’ve mentioned before that i’m a creature of habit. and i like my routine. i do like spontaneity at times but most of my life, i’ve stuck to a schedule. and when i rearrange stuff, it’s because i’m rearranging my mind… but when my mind isn’t ready, hay naku, gulu gulu na naman!

anyway, this is just probably from my gulu-gulu body clock. stayed up until 2AM, woke up at 730AM. didn’t get my afternoon nap so i’m pretty sleepy at 8 already. so i overate since i feel my body is craving for energy to keep me awake and not too keen on disturbing my fat deposits instead. hay. all i hope for today is a restful night. sana hindi na siya ma-gulu gulu.

Kundiman in the time of covid

‘Nay,

Found these on Spotify!

I discovered these songs and learned to appreciate them, along with Philippine folk dances, with your cassette tape collection for school. Now I can play them anytime, finding solace, remembering you, and praying you watch over us always.

I won’t be able to visit you now but I will soon. (Thanks COVID19! 😑)

brace for tomorrow

this is it! i’m off to the outside world!

ever since we’ve been cooped up in this quarantine, i’ve never been outside our city. the farthest i’ve gone was to the u-turn slot on kalayaan avenue going back to BGC to get groceries. i was being a responsible citizen of this country. i’d like to believe that in some ways i am a patriot and would actually like this government to succeed. and it’s painful to see that it is failing miserably.

after over three months, our economy can’t take it anymore. people can’t take it anymore. we need sustenance and the moneys we require to buy those can only be obtained through labor.

tomorrow, i’ll be going back to work to get some stuff that would help enable me to work from home more effectively. as it is, my job requires data: data that i have in my office PC. Magpatuloy magbasa brace for tomorrow

can you be an animal lover without being vegetarian?

it’s been something that i’ve asked myself but have not thought of hard enough. to me, you can be a pet-lover and eat meat. but you can’t claim to be an animal lover and enjoy steak and burgers.

to love something (or someone) means you also give that thing a lot of respect — enough that thinking about hurting, and moreso eating, it would be repugnant to you. that’s why i have this issue with people hating people eating dog meat but are perfectly fine eating a quarter-pounder from McDonald’s. or people asking horses to be saved because they are majestic animals but would order a filet mignon at a restaurant. and usually they stand behind ‘animal rights’ to defend their ideology.

well, that doesn’t fly with me. if you love pets then love your pets. don’t impose your belief on others who don’t consider Babe a pet; or Spot; or Luna.

if you’re vegetarian, well… then maybe you can say it’s cruel to eat animals. or keep them as pets. or use them for human tasks. but that’s fine. you do you. just stay away from my bacon.

my desk isn’t mine anymore

i think this is my metaphor for what i am at the moment. nothing is really “mine” mine. i mean, look at it! how does a grown man nearing his 40s have a hello kitty tumbler as a pencil holder and a minecraft stone ore on his desk?!

see that hand holding the mouse? that’s not me, obviously. unless you think i have freakishly small  hands!

with me, right now, everything is shared. i share the desk and PC with my son as of the moment. i actually got the PC to be productive at home and some online learning for my son. little did i know it’ll be hijacked into a Roblox gaming machine. LOL Magpatuloy magbasa my desk isn’t mine anymore

Tipid Tip: Don’t buy a webcam. Use your phone instead!

di ko alam bakit ako nagkukuripot sa webcam. well, kasi naman, yung relatively acceptable na quality ng C270 ay kulang para sa akin. for around 2k, yun lang ang kaya ng budget. a better quality webcam like the logitech C920 costs an arm and a leg (for poor me). so naghanap ako ng paraan. at ayun, nakita ko na pwede naman pala. gamitin lang ang DroidCam app and client sa PC.

install the android app and the client sa laptop or desktop. run both and input the IP address on the client to detect the android device and you’re good to go. pretty straight forward eh? well, yan ay kung may wifi pareho ang devices mo. paano naman ako na naka-desktop?

mas kumplikado ng kaunti. no need to root your phone though.just enable USB debugging mode. iba-iba yata depende sa unit ng phone pero mostly it’s just several taps on your system settings para ma-enable. then kapag sinaksak mo ang phone mo, choose/select yung ‘tether’ option, hindi file transfer or charging lang. sa Client program sa desktop, piliin mo lang yung USB imbes na wifi para ma-dectect yung phone. and then you’re all set!

sharing this dahil feeling ko lahat tayo nag-o-online meeting, mapa-Google Hangouts, Zoom, Team, o kung ano pang messaging at meeting app pero gusto din magtipid. buy the essentials. the rest, tingnan ano ang pwede na at pwede pa. 🙂

that nagging feeling

ever since this the implementing rules and regulations for the “Doble Plaka”law came out, it’s been giving me anxiety attacks. why? the law gives a hefty fine for motorcycles not yet under the proper owner’s name.

i got mine as a second hand motorbike. I haven’t gotten to transfering it to my name because it required another step — getting a clearance from the HPG. and to get clearance, i have to have the deed of sale notarized. and during this pandemic, how do i get to start doing this?

Magpatuloy magbasa that nagging feeling

it’s my turn

sa wakas, makakapag trabaho din.

this pandemic has forced a lot of people to work from home, myself included. since my workplace is in lockdown, i can’t get to the stuff i need. kaya ginawan na lang ng paraan.

i bought a second-hand desktop PC. mga pinag-lumaan ng mga opisina somewhere.

i find it weird that i now somehow inherited something my father did before. he would always buy second hand stuff. as a kid, i would think this is foolishness and a waste of money. “bakit bibili ng second-hand eh may murang bago naman? hanggang kailan naman tatagal yang 2nd hand TV naten? tapos papalitan lang ulit ng second hand ulit? gagastos lang nang gagastos. eh kung brand new, magtatagal naman kahit mahal.”

he never did explain why he bought second-hand/surplus/refurbished stuff. now i’m older, i found some justification why:

1. for the environment. we have this throw-away culture perpetuated by cheap electronics. things are easier to replace than to repair nowadays, specially at the rate gadgets depreciate. buying second-hand helps lengthen the life of old but still usable gadgets and electronics.

2. for education. if it’s something you can upgrade, browse the web for information how you can. if something’s busted, you don’t throw it away immediately. you find out what’s wrong. scour the forums of the internet to find solutions. try to fix it yourself. or

3. for charity. if you can’t fix it, you find someone who can. you give that person a livelihood by  having him repair your electronics. if you can’t afford the repair, sell it to him and he might find a buyer who can. you don’t have it fixed because you *need* to but because you want to help out a person and he keeps his dignity.

so far, so good sa computer ko even with a used (and abused) keyboard. i upgraded the memory and hard drive. i have this sense of accomplishment that 1. i learned something new (again) and updated myself with tech knowledge; 2. i helped my fellow man during this pandemic earn some cash; and 3. i can finally work! legit work! (albeit on the night shift. *sigh*) or maybe not… hold that thought.

finding solutions… hopelessly