i may have just figured it out: i’ve been stuck here ‘planning’ and wanting to do something rather than doing the stuff i want to do.
yeah, finances are a part of it but there are stuff that i want to do na di kailangan ng malaking halaga. part of my goal is to learn Morse Code. and i’ve been stuck for a while becuase 1. i don’t practice regularly and 2. i equate it with wasting time.
but it’s not wasted time. it’s time spent doing what i want.
i learned this other thing from my officemate where we both get frustrated while reading academic journals. parang ang dami kong hindi alam. so i think to myself that i have to read the reference they cited for me to understand what they’re doing. and my officemate’s supervisor told her, “your frustration comes from feeling that if you don’t know the intricacies, you won’t understand what they’re doing.”
and it was a lightbulb moment for me as well when she told me this story. and with that, i also learned that my learning comes from being an engineer/technician and not from theory (though theory is important). my blood comes from those who “do” — those who work with their hands. my parents, both teachers, seem to have added brains to doing stuff so i’m in the transition where i learn by doing and listening. but i’m partial to doing stuff. my search for *how* to do stuff should stop and i should *start doing* the stuff i want! for me to start learning!