i now get bored easily. actually more than getting bored, i’m losing the ability to concentrate. there’s always that little thing on the side or in my periphery that begs that i attend to it rather than stay on course. why is that?
i did attribute it to being smart once. being distracted means you have so many interests that you want to grasp everything or take a nibble at everything that you hear or see. you acquire a little knowledge each time but don’t master anything. and it was quite fun at the time when i was still energetic and carefree. now, things are becoming different.
i find myself wanting to lay back and still remain carefree… only thing is i feel incompetent and can’t rely on my own knowledge of the things that i thought i knew! i’m no expert in the things that i once pursued, i was just a passer-by after all.
so i tried to remedy it by reading more. which brings me back to my first paragraph: i get easily distracted. and when i get distracted, i often forget about the thing that i was wanting to do/read.
i started reading Grit by Angela Duckworth, a recommendation from my bestfriend since High School. i thought i could read a whole lot of it but ended up skipping pages and just watching the TED video. and i had to laugh as she discussed how grit was a defining component of success… and here i was, foiled at reading a book and ending up gritless watching the 6-minute video. haha!
and i had to sigh a little. i am where i am right now because i have no grit. i lack motivation. fortunately, in her video too, she says that it isn’t just talent that gets us where we are. that means where i am right now is not perpetual or a result of my limited talents. it just means i need to acquire *some* grit to move up a level from *NO grit* at all.
and so i write it down here in this blog that this is step one. i may fail but i will always try again. and by that, i have acquired some grit.
it’s been going on for some time now in my hometown: “brownouts” as we call them here in the Philippines. within the past week, there have been 2 almost whole-day incidents of having no electricity. in the day, perhaps, it’s more tolerable — you can go to the mall or go outside in the yard to feel the breeze blow in. electronic gadgets actually get to rest because of no wifi and no watching TV. but at night, when everyone needs to stay indoors and try to sleep, that’s when it gets really annoying.
i’ve actually planned for this and tried to build the solar kit by buying from lazada. it was for the rainy season when i know (so well) that brownouts happen. and during storms. unfortunately, the solar panel didn’t arrive — the supplier could not apparently fulfill my order because of they didn’t have stocks of the panel. i now had a solar charge controller without a solar panel. (ummm… still there? hehe. i know it’s kinda nerdy but it’s just really frustrating). it’s like having a car without wheels and fuel in the tank.
i asked my sister what they did during the night and she said she checked in at a motel with her family. they had a DFA passport renewal appointment so she thought they really needed sleep because they had to be there early. i didn’t get to ask how my parents did but knowing my dad, i’m sure they were fine. but wouldn’t it be a convenience to not be inconvenienced by power outages?
a facebook friend had this post about living off-grid was actually living “off-greed” i.e. not power-hungry and not wasteful of resources. i liked that idea a lot.
so now, i’m trying to scramble to put the solar kit together. now currently debating a cheap but short-term solution that’s immediately available vs. expensive but long-term solution that needs to take a while to save for. 😦
“To find someone who will love you for no reason, and to shower that person with reasons, that is the ultimate happiness.”
― Robert Brault
you can be religious about this quote or just be romantic about it. it still works.
sign of aging siguro ito.
i’ve always been amused by my uncle who lives with us in pampanga and his record-keeping and labeling OC-ness. he would write his favorite TV shows schedule on a piece of ruled yellowpad and attached that to a clipboard and hung it near the TV set. all the small items he’d find during an engine build, he’d either stick to a flattened old cardboard box or in small baby food containers neatly labeled. it was approaching Batman’s OC-ness level!
now that i’m growing older myself, i find it more and more difficult to track things with just my mind. well, i could still track them but there’s an anxiety that builds which makes me worry that i forget something. or i might miss on an opportunity where i had a thought or idea about a thing that i wanted to share.
or simply because i want so many things in my life, i might prioritize one thing over another because i just saw the other thing first thinking, “oooh, i want that,” without realizing there’s something more important that i could just buy at the same price.
so now, i made a list of the things i want. i actually have an online spreadsheet of my previous list but i keep forgetting to look at it so i decided i’d write them down so i could see them easily and maybe reorganize, reprioritize them. i think this will be in keeping with my ‘planning’ phase for the new year.
and what a relief. my mind seems to have been freed from cloudiness. i thought, “this must’ve been how the Pensieve would work in Harry Potter!” LOL!
it’s therapeutic, i think, that besides writing down thoughts in a blog, or speaking in a vlog, writing things down physically is really something else.
do you feel the same way? lemme know in the comments!
2016 has just been battering all of us. “us” meaning filipinos in general. whether you’re part of the ’16 million’ or a ‘yellowtard’, 2016 has hit us hard. and my fearless forecast is that it won’t let up into 2017. and i’m speaking to myself on a personal level.
so for 2017, i’m telling myself to be brave… be brave to stand my ground, be brave to try something new, be brave to accept things i can’t change. it may apply to you too (see? puwede nako sumulat ng horoscope column. kung kaya ni Mocha, kaya ko din!!! HAHAHAHA!)
seriously though, 9 days through the year, it’s already been tough. but i have to be brave. take the punches for now. maybe when patience has run out, or the grace of temperance gives out, it could be the beginning of a different year.
i’ve been reading Konmari, as you know, and started to throw away stuff at the office that just piled up and accumulated over the years. newspapers i got from eating breakfast at mcdonalds and jollibee, flyers from shops, even readings i never got to read. now they’re in a pile in the trash.
and i can’t believe how really therapeutic it is to have this declutter your space. it gives me breathing room and releaves me a great deal. it de-stresses me a lot!
now, i just have to go through the boxes of gadgets i still have piled up here.
i know, it’s not following Konmari’s rules but what she says about it is true: it is a personal problem that you deal with and you will feel a lot better letting go of things. you think you might regret throwing that one thing “you just might need in the future” but never do. it’s liberating.
of course, i haven’t solved my problem of continually acquiring things yet but i’m getting there. 😀
being a busy parent can make you lose time for a lot of things. the weekends aren’t for relaxation but for doing those things you couldn’t do while rushing off to work — ironing clothes, doing the laundry, cleaning the house, folding dry clothes… and here’s one that i wish i could easily do as i did before: washing the car.
it was therapeutic for me when i washed the jeep and the car sometimes. yes, my arm hurt the next day from buffing the polish but it was enjoyable. in a limited space, washing a car is such a hassle. you have lots of things to avoid bumping into and getting wet. so one evening on my way home, i decided to get the car washed ‘professionally’ nearby.
Xpress Autoserv is along Esteban Abada parallel to Katipunan Avenue. i only had time and money for a car wash (P120) but i really wanted to have the car waxed, specially now it’s rainy season.
i arrived with two others being serviced. i just got my valuables out of the car, left my bag and some change and other stuff inside. when i said i was just having a wash, they immediately went to work. now what’s included in your P120-car wash? a foam shampoo, wiping of interior panels and dashboard, vacuum of interior, washing of mats, and tire black. all that done in under 30 minutes!
some would complain of swirl marks. but we don’t own an expensive car. besides, swirl marks can be remedied later when i can get the car detailed. (i’m planning on doing that. specially to remove those battle scars the car has acquired throughout the years). for now, the wash to remove dirt and grime on Percy is enough.