be brave for 2017

2016 has just been battering all of us. “us” meaning filipinos in general. whether you’re part of the ’16 million’ or a ‘yellowtard’, 2016 has hit us hard. and my fearless forecast is that it won’t let up into 2017. and i’m speaking to myself on a personal level.

so for 2017, i’m telling myself to be brave… be brave to stand my ground, be brave to try something new, be brave to accept things i can’t change. it may apply to you too (see? puwede nako sumulat ng horoscope column. kung kaya ni Mocha, kaya ko din!!! HAHAHAHA!)

seriously though, 9 days through the year, it’s already been tough. but i have to be brave. take the punches for now. maybe when patience has run out, or the grace of temperance gives out, it could be the beginning of a different year.

one “oops!” for VP Leni

of course, here’s the political commentary of a pseudo-political analyst again on the internetz: good sentiment, wrong execution.

i hope this resignation came from the ‘media’ team and not her personally. i get it. i mean i understand why you would be upset if people asked you to not join the meetings anymore. but being dramatic about it, crying out “huhuhu!” in public just wasn’t to my liking.

the ‘break-up’ text was definitely douchey. pero having it all over social media was… a bit tacky. also, the official statement regarding the plan to “steal the Vice-Presidency” was very, very inappropriate imho. sana yung pag-resign na lang ang na-cover sa statement. medyo nakaka-irita yung ganung dating na, “oh look, i’m being oppressed!” i thought she could have done better.

then again, there’s the counter-argument: if we don’t warn them now, it could happen just like *that* and the Marcoses will be back in power once more. which i will not consider to be just a hunch. i mean they’ve been successful in launching a campaign for Bong Bong for the VP, filed a protest, and successfully had Marcos Sr. “honored” at the LNMB. what else could be next but to snatch the VP post?

i entertain myself with conspiracy theories but always take them to be more fiction than fact. but these things, these events… they’re too coincidental and all too familiar of the workings of a Marcos. and i hate it.

how could the VP have warned us in a more appropriate way? i don’t know. but all i feel is that her resignation ‘letter’ wasn’t the right place for it.

i wore black today

it’s being dubbed as “Black Friday” coinciding with the traditional black friday in the US. However, it’s a different kind of black friday in the philippines.

yes, i’m anti-Marcos. but at the same time, i’m keeping my ears open to those who want Marcos buried at LNMB.

may have decided that the supreme court could have been a beacon of light for this kind of dilemma. that it has failed the people of the country and the countless victims of martial law.

i, on the other hand, am not too quick to draw that conclusion. i still (begrudgingly) agree with the decision because of the reasons cited in the ponente. however, the part i cannot accept in the decision is the reasoning that Marcos is “just a human who erred”.

putting salt in boss’ coffee instead of sugar is erring like a human. putting cyanide makes you a murderer. repeating it every time the boss is replaced makes you a psychopath.

yes, TECHNICALLY, he can be buried. but is it the right thing to do?

the problem with the law, it talks of legality but not morality. what may be legal could be morally wrong e.g. slavery in days past. and it is indeed beyond the supreme court to decide what is “right” vs. what is legal.

what i really want now is for the president to listen to the people protesting, because it is in his hands now. perhaps if we can convince him that the healing he was hoping for only exacerbated the pain of martial law.

so that is why i wore black today. i’m not protesting the supreme court decision. i’m protesting that Tatay Digong would listen to us, and not just the elite and those to whom he is indebted to.

whatever will be will be

i’ve been watching a lot of philippine expat videos on youtube a couple of months back and have come across Ned and Michelle at MyPhilippineDreams.com where Ned does these little videos on Philippine Psychology and he briefly discussed “Bahala Na” in their latest one.

and indeed, there are two sides to it: one of fatalism and the other of apathy.

nakaka-walang gana to do anything. so you might as well just do whatever and wait and see what the outcome is.

there’s no longer anything to drive or inspire you. “whatever will be will  be” as the song goes. you just sort of give up and just try to float.

i guess that this is because of a number of things happening simultaneously, again, in my life where i’m overwhelmed. it’s like drowning in a very turbid ocean, waves coming in. each and every time you try to swim, put your head above the water, barely catching another breath until the next wave pummels you and sends you underwater again. i just can’t get a break!

so now, i’m giving up paddling, i’m giving up treading, i’m giving up struggling. i’ll just try to float and see where this ocean sends me. either i survive it or drown.

*deeeeeeeeeep sigh*

not what was promised

seriously, i’m scared.

from where i worked, a man was shot allegedly because he witnessed a robbery.

from where i live, just a few blocks away, 3 men were shot because of alleged involvement in drugs in two separate occasions: last week and just yesterday.

from the road that is traversed by the jeep i ride home, a woman was shot because she was mistaken for another person allegedly involved in drugs.

this isn’t the change i wanted. i don’t want fear. i want security.

for mistaken identities or collateral damage, so far, all i hear is, “oops! sorry…” where’s the justice in that?

ham frustration

please note, despite being a foodie, seeing the word “ham” on this blog may mean two things: that cured meat we all love to eat during the Holiday season (and beyond), and then there’s my recent interest which is amateur radio.

well, here’s the thing: i think i may have chosen poorly in pursuing this ‘hobby’ for the following reasons:

  1. you need to dedicate time for it
  2. you need a pretty big pool of resources
  3. you probably need a lot of mentoring on it. or perhaps, you don’t go into it if you’re going solo.

these three things all mix together in my situation. i don’t have time at home because we don’t have anyone to do chores or look after our son so we do them when we get home and on weekends. i have time at work and during my commute to and from it but here’s where number 2 kicks in: to be able to reliably talk to other hams, you need good equipment. yes, chinese-made stuff are cheap but from my current experience, it’s best that you keep them just for emergencies.

besides the acquisition of equipment, another resource you need (if you’re serious about ham radio) is real estate: horizontally and vertically for your mast, cables, and antenna. living in small 50-square meter home in a densely-populated part of the city that has a mix of large apartment buildings and small houses isn’t helpful. specially if you’re one of the bungalow-type right beside a 6-storey building. *sigh*

since QSOs are hard to come by, even meet-ups for training because of reason #1, i don’t feel i’ve progressed despite having my license for almost 6 months now. maybe it doesn’t help that i’m an introvert as well. *deeper sigh*

i think this new hobby is a double-edged sword, so far, in my short-lived experience with it. it piqued my interest and yet generates this whole lot of frustration. i want to enjoy it but so far, it’s not happening. and in the few times i’ve made contact with others, they always invite me to meet but i always have to decline. maybe it’s not the right time for me to take up this hobby? i registered my license for 3 years and hopefully before i renew it, i feel like i can and live-up to the name of being an amateur radio operator.

what do you think?

#DuterteProblems

if i had no control whatsoever with my online posting, if my censorship meter had gone inversely with my frustration meter’s reaction, i would be posting about Duterte everyday. it’ll be a mix but last weekend, it was different. it’s not about his cabinet members or his foul mouth. it’s about the ‘hypocrisy in the Church’.

and i think i’ve grown tired of giving him a chance.

at the end of the election, when he asked for “healing” to “begin”, i was impressed. i thought it was a magnanimous gesture so as to gather all those who are able to contribute to build the nation. when he sobbed on his mother’s grave, i, too, felt his burden. and who do we turn to often during those times? our mothers.

but then he began naming his cabinet secretaries. he began his comments on population control. and recently he began his hate speech toward the Catholic Church.

how does one call for healing and cite those who campaigned against him for being malicious? hay…

no, this is not to defend those whom he mentioned: bishops and priests with wives/mistresses and children. those in the Church who live in excess. those i am able to agree with. they really do need to be named and shamed, in my opinion. but to say that the “most hypocritical institution today” is the Catholic Church, that is something I cannot agree to.

if Mr. Duterte is looking for the perfect Church where there are no faults, he better look far from the Catholics. but he must remember why the Church exists: it is a hospital for the sick, a school for those who wish to learn. it is far from perfect but it doesn’t mean it’s not trying to be.