Category Archives: ramblings

Praying for India

If anyone is feeling the brunt of this second wave of COVID cases, it’s India. Almost 300 THOUSAND cases per day! But what I’m curious about is how many Indians still believe in reincarnation and does that factor in with how you deal with illness and with this particular disease.

The way I look at it is that sick people look forward to reincarnation instead of treatment because everything around seems hopeless. If reincarnated in another time or being, all past memory is erased and you’ll continue blissfully ignorant of the complexities of your current life.

(Disclaimer: this is just off the top of my head from what I remember. Please correct me if I got it wrong)

That’s just something at the back of my head I wanted to spill here and perhaps get an answer should one chance upon it. 😬

can you be an animal lover without being vegetarian?

it’s been something that i’ve asked myself but have not thought of hard enough. to me, you can be a pet-lover and eat meat. but you can’t claim to be an animal lover and enjoy steak and burgers.

to love something (or someone) means you also give that thing a lot of respect — enough that thinking about hurting, and moreso eating, it would be repugnant to you. that’s why i have this issue with people hating people eating dog meat but are perfectly fine eating a quarter-pounder from McDonald’s. or people asking horses to be saved because they are majestic animals but would order a filet mignon at a restaurant. and usually they stand behind ‘animal rights’ to defend their ideology.

well, that doesn’t fly with me. if you love pets then love your pets. don’t impose your belief on others who don’t consider Babe a pet; or Spot; or Luna.

if you’re vegetarian, well… then maybe you can say it’s cruel to eat animals. or keep them as pets. or use them for human tasks. but that’s fine. you do you. just stay away from my bacon.

somber thoughts

i don’t know what pushed this feeling yesterday. i tried building one of those particle board cabinets that the wife bought from the mall last December and maybe it was the adrenaline and blood pumping that’s been stagnant because of my sedentary lifestyle, i was quite in a pensive mood. or i just might be becoming a slow thinker and can’t process thoughts as fast as i used to. LOL!

anyway, i just thought i got tired from the ‘workout’ i got building the cabinet that’s why i was quiet even at the dinner table. this morning, i was still quiet but had my brain thinking about the stuff i had to do and needed.

this afternoon, i found myself on Facebook again and tried to wean myself off of it. i was a little successful but i guess i’m having withdrawal symptoms so i bought some fast food. twice. (doh!)

now as i’m about to go home, i just had a little walk and some prayer time. i thought God could send me some sign or whisper something in my ear… but it was the devil, instead, showing off. (joggers in the afternoon in the campus. good Lord.)

well, i survived (barely) but i didn’t hear anything from the Lord. maybe it’s because too many thoughts still clutter me and drown Him out.

why am i this blessed?

inasmuch as we feel the economic crunch, i still think that i am still quite blessed. and in the recent brouhaha over the SEA Games preparations in Manila, i recalled how i thought of a seemingly parallel situation a few months ago when we had a rice ‘crisis’ that had the local prices of farmers diving faster than a lead brick because they can’t compete with imported rice’s low price.

we almost always think that rich people are bad — that they abuse and exploit people just to earn tons of money; but from my middle-class perspective, you become rich by being financially literate, working hard, and working smart. and these gains are blessings that are meant to be shared AND used.

how? by buying and supporting local farmers goods e.g. rice!

you see, if cheap imported rice is all the low-income families can afford, upper and middle-class can easily afford to buy more expensive local rice. it’s not increasing your quality of life but rather an example of patriotism and empathy, as well as a sacrifice (because you could save more and invest more money if you buy cheaper rice)!

so, you see, being rich is not a bad thing. what the Good Book says rings true (1 Tim 6:10). If you keep it, and love it above all else, it will corrupt you; but if you let it go, spend it on the right things, it will be a blessing — and it will always come back to you.

calm down. it’s alright. breathe.

that’s my mantra to myself right now.

when you get older, you get more responsibilities. and sometimes, everything’s all quiet and calm. and then there are days or weeks like you should just be running 300 kph from Manila to Timbuktu. on water.

i just might not be used to such pressure. or i just can’t organize my thoughts accurately. i just feel like i’ve so much to do but i don’t know where to begin and i forget the things that i should be doing! (it’s a problem-producing problem. nanganganak siya.)

so i repeat them once again: calm down. it’s alright. breathe.


It was a sigh of relief. It wasn’t the magnificent ending we wanted. It was the peaceful kind. It wasn’t BOOM BANG FLASH! It was the “meh!” ending. And I… I just don’t feel anything. There was a disconnect between the show and myself and I think it’s actually for the better. I did not hate the ending. I just didn’t have high hopes anymore after the previous episode and I guess it just ‘met expectations’… which were pretty low.

Anyway, after all of this, it’s finally over. It was a great ride. It was a great show. It just didn’t have the grandest exit. It didn’t feel right. I guess I didn’t actually feel anything, unlike Breaking Bad. Now THAT show knew how to end a series… It still left you hanging and asking for more and still leaving questions but you were like, “yeah. that was a good ending.”

As for GoT, Frank Underwood summarized it with what he said in this clip… “There. No more pain.”

Thank you GoT! Farewell.

what do i get out of it?

this is a thing i’ve observed lately. people go to mass because they want to get something, and call it wasted time when 1. Father’s homily is ‘recycled.’ 2. All I heard was the crying baby in church, 3. It’s about EJKs and drugs again. 4. they just care about the collection. 5. Why did I receive just half a host?

tapos kapag magsi-simbang gabi, kukumpletuhin yung 9 na misa. bakit? kasi may hinihiling. nagiging deboto kay Padre Pio, kay Mama Mary, kay Poong Nazareno dahil may hinihiling. magpapa-bless ng sasakyan sa Antipolo dahil gustong ligtas ang sasakyan. hiling pa din yun.

kailan ka ba huling nagsimba na ang dala mo lang ay pasasalamat? we’ve lost that sense of gratitude, IMO. there’s nothing wrong with asking for blessings pero kung iyon at iyon lang ang dinadala natin tuwing misa, no wonder sasabihin mong “di ako pinapakinggan ni Lord” or “hindi totoo iyang sinasabi ng mga Katoliko! araw-araw akong nagsisimba pero walang natutupad sa hiling ko!”

and this a lesson for me too — to have more gratitude and show this gratitude by worshiping the Lord. hindi dahil gusto kong gumaling ako, yumaman, o huwag kaming pabayaan. kahit hindi ko hilingin, gagawin niya iyon dahil mahal ako ni Lord. eh yung lahat nung ibang binigay niya na hindi ko hiningi, nagpasalamat na ba ako para doon? malamang hindi. so i try to be more focused on those things rather than on what i currentlyl don’t have.

“seek first the Kingdom of God… and all things will be added unto you.”

grant me temperance

we’ve recently started a novena at work and aside from institutional requests, there is also a time for personal intercessions. i’m for the ‘generic requests’ often times because, well, i’ve never really thought about it. i would ask for good health, more money, and world peace. 😛

in the past few weeks, i’ve been dealing with personal demons and have come to the conclusion that i’ve been addicted to pleasure for the longest time. that’s why i eat a lot. that’s why i’m often buying stuff. that’s why i like fast internet *wink, wink*. these temporary pleasures are the things i use to drown out my unhappiness. in food, we call this ’emotional eating’ — we eat our sorrows away. and it’s such a vicious cycle that i do feel that it is an addiction and at a certain level, a demonic possession.

Magpatuloy magbasa grant me temperance

both a country boy and a city boy

“oh give me land, lots of land under starry skies above
don’t fence me in.”

kasalanan ni bud brown ‘to eh. who is he? what am i talking about?


while the conveniences that the modern, urban jungle offers are really nice (first class health care, malls, high-speed internet), i still long for “land, lots of land” as the song says. open spaces are the things that i mostly crave now. it’s what i miss about living in the countryside.

but i can have that too here in the city… if only i were a few million pesos richer. LOL!

we live near McKinley Hill and Bonifacio Global City — uber expensive places to live in. but really well-planned urban spaces — and i just love it there. you can stroll into a mall, a few steps away, there’s a linear park to run or relax. a few minutes drive and you’re at a european-inspired enclave where there’s a plaza to feed pigeons and a man-made river to ride a gondola. and the houses aren’t jammed together like a stack of boxes in a delivery van.

so we make the most of it. well, i’d like to, specially on weekends. drive there, enjoy a little bit of breathing space, take time to be ‘free’.

but i still want lots of land. 😀 hehehe

musings standing in a bus

matagal-tagal na akong hindi sumasakay ng bus pa-probinsya. simula nung nagkaroon kami ng sasakyan, iyon at iyon ang dala namin tuwing lumuluwas pa-Pampanga. it was probably last year that i did the same. pero weird na di ko maalala.

anyway, dahil (normal na) mahirap sumakay paluwas ng maynila tuwing linggo, pinagkasya ko na ang aking [malaking] katawan sa tayuang bus pa-Pasay. ginagawa ko na yon noong college… (which was over 10 years ago, imagine that! wow!) dahil no-choice at gusto mo na din makapag-settle down sa dorm for school the next day.

na-isip ko, having a good view of most of the seated passengers dahil nga nakatayo ako, may kanya-kanyang mundo talaga sa commute dahil sa cellphone. i didn’t get that impression in the morning trip going to Pampanga because i was comfortably seated beside a window. at that time, mas iniisip ko na na-a-appreciate ko yung view paluwas ng Pampanga because i wasn’t busy minding the road and the other cars. laid-back, chill lang… even if i was running a bit late. heheh…

in that evening trip nga, i saw how much of everything revolved around devices. the girl seated in front of me had a bunch of selfies in her Gallery app. another one was texting her boyfriend she was already on her way. (i wasn’t snooping around. you can’t help but be distracted by bright screens in a dimly-lit bus, OK? #defensivemuch) another girl standing along the isle with me had her Friends episode playing on her phone, while another movie (Nine Lives?) was in the bus’ entertainment system. (well, thank goodness it wasn’t karaoke!)

andami pang may kanya-kanyang bubble sa loob ng bus. most of the young people were the ones who held on to their devices while those who kept them in their pockets, save the occasional loud conversations on a Cherry Mobile feature phone. sabagay, ano ba naman makikita mo sa labas ng bintana kung gabi naman diba?

but then, how about interactions with other people? minsan nawawala pagka-sensitive naten sa mga tao dahil wala na tayong meaningful conversations because we have FB messenger as an excuse…

“nagcha-chat naman kami eh!”

pero i don’t think nothing will replace actual physical interaction. kahit gaano pa kagaling na VR yan o hologram. we’re in a tangible world for a reason. hindi sa The Matrix.