Category Archives: ramblings

Finally.

It was a sigh of relief. It wasn’t the magnificent ending we wanted. It was the peaceful kind. It wasn’t BOOM BANG FLASH! It was the “meh!” ending. And I… I just don’t feel anything. There was a disconnect between the show and myself and I think it’s actually for the better. I did not hate the ending. I just didn’t have high hopes anymore after the previous episode and I guess it just ‘met expectations’… which were pretty low.

Anyway, after all of this, it’s finally over. It was a great ride. It was a great show. It just didn’t have the grandest exit. It didn’t feel right. I guess I didn’t actually feel anything, unlike Breaking Bad. Now THAT show knew how to end a series… It still left you hanging and asking for more and still leaving questions but you were like, “yeah. that was a good ending.”

As for GoT, Frank Underwood summarized it with what he said in this clip… “There. No more pain.”

Thank you GoT! Farewell.

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what do i get out of it?

this is a thing i’ve observed lately. people go to mass because they want to get something, and call it wasted time when 1. Father’s homily is ‘recycled.’ 2. All I heard was the crying baby in church, 3. It’s about EJKs and drugs again. 4. they just care about the collection. 5. Why did I receive just half a host?

tapos kapag magsi-simbang gabi, kukumpletuhin yung 9 na misa. bakit? kasi may hinihiling. nagiging deboto kay Padre Pio, kay Mama Mary, kay Poong Nazareno dahil may hinihiling. magpapa-bless ng sasakyan sa Antipolo dahil gustong ligtas ang sasakyan. hiling pa din yun.

kailan ka ba huling nagsimba na ang dala mo lang ay pasasalamat? we’ve lost that sense of gratitude, IMO. there’s nothing wrong with asking for blessings pero kung iyon at iyon lang ang dinadala natin tuwing misa, no wonder sasabihin mong “di ako pinapakinggan ni Lord” or “hindi totoo iyang sinasabi ng mga Katoliko! araw-araw akong nagsisimba pero walang natutupad sa hiling ko!”

and this a lesson for me too — to have more gratitude and show this gratitude by worshiping the Lord. hindi dahil gusto kong gumaling ako, yumaman, o huwag kaming pabayaan. kahit hindi ko hilingin, gagawin niya iyon dahil mahal ako ni Lord. eh yung lahat nung ibang binigay niya na hindi ko hiningi, nagpasalamat na ba ako para doon? malamang hindi. so i try to be more focused on those things rather than on what i currentlyl don’t have.

“seek first the Kingdom of God… and all things will be added unto you.”

grant me temperance

we’ve recently started a novena at work and aside from institutional requests, there is also a time for personal intercessions. i’m for the ‘generic requests’ often times because, well, i’ve never really thought about it. i would ask for good health, more money, and world peace. 😛

in the past few weeks, i’ve been dealing with personal demons and have come to the conclusion that i’ve been addicted to pleasure for the longest time. that’s why i eat a lot. that’s why i’m often buying stuff. that’s why i like fast internet *wink, wink*. these temporary pleasures are the things i use to drown out my unhappiness. in food, we call this ’emotional eating’ — we eat our sorrows away. and it’s such a vicious cycle that i do feel that it is an addiction and at a certain level, a demonic possession.

Continue reading grant me temperance

both a country boy and a city boy

“oh give me land, lots of land under starry skies above
don’t fence me in.”

kasalanan ni bud brown ‘to eh. who is he? what am i talking about?

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fomq8INf1RQ]

while the conveniences that the modern, urban jungle offers are really nice (first class health care, malls, high-speed internet), i still long for “land, lots of land” as the song says. open spaces are the things that i mostly crave now. it’s what i miss about living in the countryside.

but i can have that too here in the city… if only i were a few million pesos richer. LOL!

we live near McKinley Hill and Bonifacio Global City — uber expensive places to live in. but really well-planned urban spaces — and i just love it there. you can stroll into a mall, a few steps away, there’s a linear park to run or relax. a few minutes drive and you’re at a european-inspired enclave where there’s a plaza to feed pigeons and a man-made river to ride a gondola. and the houses aren’t jammed together like a stack of boxes in a delivery van.

so we make the most of it. well, i’d like to, specially on weekends. drive there, enjoy a little bit of breathing space, take time to be ‘free’.

but i still want lots of land. 😀 hehehe

musings standing in a bus

matagal-tagal na akong hindi sumasakay ng bus pa-probinsya. simula nung nagkaroon kami ng sasakyan, iyon at iyon ang dala namin tuwing lumuluwas pa-Pampanga. it was probably last year that i did the same. pero weird na di ko maalala.

anyway, dahil (normal na) mahirap sumakay paluwas ng maynila tuwing linggo, pinagkasya ko na ang aking [malaking] katawan sa tayuang bus pa-Pasay. ginagawa ko na yon noong college… (which was over 10 years ago, imagine that! wow!) dahil no-choice at gusto mo na din makapag-settle down sa dorm for school the next day.

na-isip ko, having a good view of most of the seated passengers dahil nga nakatayo ako, may kanya-kanyang mundo talaga sa commute dahil sa cellphone. i didn’t get that impression in the morning trip going to Pampanga because i was comfortably seated beside a window. at that time, mas iniisip ko na na-a-appreciate ko yung view paluwas ng Pampanga because i wasn’t busy minding the road and the other cars. laid-back, chill lang… even if i was running a bit late. heheh…

in that evening trip nga, i saw how much of everything revolved around devices. the girl seated in front of me had a bunch of selfies in her Gallery app. another one was texting her boyfriend she was already on her way. (i wasn’t snooping around. you can’t help but be distracted by bright screens in a dimly-lit bus, OK? #defensivemuch) another girl standing along the isle with me had her Friends episode playing on her phone, while another movie (Nine Lives?) was in the bus’ entertainment system. (well, thank goodness it wasn’t karaoke!)

andami pang may kanya-kanyang bubble sa loob ng bus. most of the young people were the ones who held on to their devices while those who kept them in their pockets, save the occasional loud conversations on a Cherry Mobile feature phone. sabagay, ano ba naman makikita mo sa labas ng bintana kung gabi naman diba?

but then, how about interactions with other people? minsan nawawala pagka-sensitive naten sa mga tao dahil wala na tayong meaningful conversations because we have FB messenger as an excuse…

“nagcha-chat naman kami eh!”

pero i don’t think nothing will replace actual physical interaction. kahit gaano pa kagaling na VR yan o hologram. we’re in a tangible world for a reason. hindi sa The Matrix.

hold the bacon

it has finally come to this.

all you want is a BLT sandwich but you can’t have your BLT. you have to hold the bacon because it’s supposed to be bad for you.

WHYYYYYYY????

ayan na naman ako sa mga metaphors ko. hahaha!

but sometimes, life gives you this BLT but tells you not to have it with bacon. and because you care about life, you stop eating bacon. then you begin to feel lousy. you give up that slice of happiness for “something better”… to some, perhaps, but not you.

what’s the final analysis? well, i had this weekend getaway but never actually got a ‘break’ or a moment to myself. i was actually hoping for some time to reflect but i never got it. so the question on my mind right now is, “is giving up bacon really worth it?”

one “oops!” for VP Leni

of course, here’s the political commentary of a pseudo-political analyst again on the internetz: good sentiment, wrong execution.

i hope this resignation came from the ‘media’ team and not her personally. i get it. i mean i understand why you would be upset if people asked you to not join the meetings anymore. but being dramatic about it, crying out “huhuhu!” in public just wasn’t to my liking.

the ‘break-up’ text was definitely douchey. pero having it all over social media was… a bit tacky. also, the official statement regarding the plan to “steal the Vice-Presidency” was very, very inappropriate imho. sana yung pag-resign na lang ang na-cover sa statement. medyo nakaka-irita yung ganung dating na, “oh look, i’m being oppressed!” i thought she could have done better.

then again, there’s the counter-argument: if we don’t warn them now, it could happen just like *that* and the Marcoses will be back in power once more. which i will not consider to be just a hunch. i mean they’ve been successful in launching a campaign for Bong Bong for the VP, filed a protest, and successfully had Marcos Sr. “honored” at the LNMB. what else could be next but to snatch the VP post?

i entertain myself with conspiracy theories but always take them to be more fiction than fact. but these things, these events… they’re too coincidental and all too familiar of the workings of a Marcos. and i hate it.

how could the VP have warned us in a more appropriate way? i don’t know. but all i feel is that her resignation ‘letter’ wasn’t the right place for it.