I don’t know when it started. All I know is that I’m almost scared to browse my social media now.
A lot of things have weighted me down these couple of weeks. Maybe a little (or a lot) burned out after the past storms. Horrible images of the helplessness of my countrymen. And then there’s the work that needs to be done… that I’m struggling to figure out.
Yesterday, I catch the news of Fr. Tim Ofrasio’s passing. I never knew him personally but he had a presenceu during the Traditional Latin Mass he said in Ateneo.
Then today, I saw the letter saying my High School will be closing its doors. Or at least, the missionaries in-charge will be leaving the Archdiocese, leaving Chevalier School.
My High school may not be as well-known outside of Angeles City but it has become part of local history. Shutting it down is a tremendous pain to me with all the memories I have with it.
So it’s just one after the other. Ache after ache. Pain that’s almost swelling into tears that just haven’t burst yet. So the pain remains.
ever since i moved to manila, i’ve missed attending fiestas, specially those from pampanga. the fiestas we are able to attend are those that happen on weekends — Sto. Nino and Poblacion. my parents’ and siblings’ fiesta, unfortunately, is not a “move-able” one — St. Vincent Ferrer which happens today, April 5.
i usually don’t have visitors since my friends are also residents in our barangay. save for one or two but one has already migrated to the US and the other is busy being a single mom. she arrives sometimes, sometimes not but mostly, visitors are those of my sisters’ (i wasn’t really a popular kid in gradeschool and high school. plus, most of them live far from my neck of the woods.)
i think last year or the other year was a bit ‘fortunate’ because it was within Holy Week. next year might be good for me because April 5 falls on a friday. i can still eat what’s left from those who visited in the morning! LOL
as for today, i will have to live with seeing the spread thru photos. *tummy rumble*
man, i wish i could have some asado right now. maybe i’ll cook a batch this weekend!
alam ko kaarawan mo ngayon. pero puwede bang ako naman humingi ng regalo sayo? i just feel i have this strong connection with you, considering pinanganak ako sa ospital named after you (Virgen de los Remedios). and i think appropriate naman dahil kailangan ko ng remedio.
una, peace of mind. hindi dahil may mga nagawa akong masama (meron pa din naman pero sa susunod na lang yun) pero dahil madami akong iniisip at inaalala.
pangalawa, naiisip ko na pera ang solusyon sa mga problema ko. tama kaya iyon? hihingi ako sa iyo ng direksyon kung tama ba o mali ang iniisip ko. kung para dito ba ako o para sa ibang lugar.
pangatlo, humihingi ako ng mahabang pasensiya at lakas sa araw-araw. nakaka-tamad, nakaka-depress. toxic. pero kailangan magpatuloy diba? tinatanong ko ang sarili ko “hanggang kailan ba itong dinaranas namin?” emotionally at physically draining kahit saan magpunta – opisina o sa bahay. kung hindi ko man mabago yung sitwasyon, hihingi na lang ako ng pasensiya at lakas.
panghuli, iyong hiling na din ng mga kasamahan ko at pamilya. maraming lumalapit sakin, nagpapa-sama sa dasal. akala nila yata ganun kami ka-close ng anak mo. (HAHAHA). iyong mga may problema din, sana pakinggan ninyo at sagutin. o gaya ko, habaan niyo na lang din ang pasensiya.
hindi na ako humiling ng “good health”… mukhang napapa-sobra na nga yata at napaka-“healthy” na naming mag-asawa. 😛
i am diaspora. i have been uprooted and it is not easy to establish new roots when you’ve already grown so much. (in my case, i’ve grown VERY much horizontally rather than vertically. :P) but here, everyday, i am reminded how everyone is a stranger. and how i am outsider.
and fortuitous enough, i just got to watch this video:
i’m surprised that i’m this old already and i just found out Puerto Rico isn’t exactly a sovereign country!
all i could say after watching this again is, “RELATE!”
my job is generous with holidays, specially religious holidays. Holy Wednesday is non-working holiday for us and because of this, i get to avoid the exodus of people from Manila to the provinces during Holy Week. I either leave on Tuesday evening or early Wednesday morning. but that’s changed because i now am a resident of Manila and just go to Pampanga to visit.
having changed addresses has not, however, freed me from my personal attachment to my old parish (though it isn’t allowed by the Church, as far as i know). i feel compelled to preserve this tradition and that is why i still come back each and every time. and for 10 years, i’ve never missed a procession. i once was late coming home but made it to the procession just by a hair. last Wednesday, i would experience my first failure.
A has been asking me to ‘train’ her to speak the language by talking to her in straight kapampangan. but i somehow always forget. maybe because i met her as a tagalog-speaking manileña and that’s what’s stuck in my subconscious. but whenever i meet a friend from pampanga in manila, i just speak to him/her in kapampangan even as i greet and ask, “o, komusta na ka?” (“how are you?”). and usually, this happens when i’m with friends who aren’t kapampangan so it feels kinda weird because we were conversing for about 5 mins already before i notice and try to speak in tagalog instead. i don’t know if i should apologize or explain what we were talking about the past 5 mins or so.
no, it’s not being mayabang. and neither is it being insensitive, in my opinion. i just think that God might have given me a tongue that’s on autopilot whenever i meet a kabalen.
it’s been three months since our little sumi’s haircut. she’s been overly fluffy and furry and her hair is already covering her eyes. her undercoat isn’t that heavily matted but some portions are a bit tangled and need to be combed properly. so we made a trip to the groomer during the holiday monday.
her first grooming session was done in Market! Market! (Animal House?) when A still had her at home. after having some behavioral problems mainly because sumi wasn’t allowed in the house and almost always in her cage, we decided do have her stay in pampanga instead.
so three months after, a haircut was in order. there were only two pet shops along MacArthur highway in Dolores, City of San Fernando: Angeles Pet Clinic, and Pet Matters which were actually just about 200 meters apart.
having no recommendations or internet to look for feedback or even store hours (it was a holiday so we weren’t sure if they were open), we took our chances and drove to Dolores.
i just want to share some of my pics when i heard mass one Sunday in the metropolitan cathedral. i usually hear mass in our local chapel but with all the preps, i usually go back to pampanga during Sundays.
here are my greeters whenever i go there: Peter, Paul, and Mary. 😀 well, not the singers though but these guys are as popular i reckon:
I keep another blog, like most bloggers i know. 🙂 this one’s a bit ‘special’ because i try to chronicle stuff from my hometown. it’s getting filled little by little but traffic’s not coming in and only few ‘readers’ today. most, so far, download the stuff i have on (e.g. our town’s logo) but still, i’m happy i’m putting it on the net. hopefully, the posts will be useful in the future to other people.
as for the last post, i just thought i’d share it directly rather than rewriting the material. 🙂 click the link above for what i saw today in our town. maybe you’ve seen it in where you are and just didn’t know what it was! (pansin ko, madalas na ako mag-picture ng mga bagay sa langit ngayon. LOL)