everything was so slow and then BAM!

i never felt the christmas rush. ever. until this afternoon.

dati-rati, halos Nobyembre palang, gustong-gusto ko na mag-Christmas break na. nakakatamad na pumasok araw-araw. pero ngayon, parang “meh!” nothing. nawalan na ba ako ng Christmas spirit? di naman. nararamdaman ko naman eh. kaso lang parang other things took priority over other stuff. to the point na parang everything is just part of the daily grind. “uy, Monday na naman. pasok na ulit.” “ayan, Wednesday na. humpday!” “yehey, Friday! weekend!!!”

walang countdown to the vacation. tumatanda na ba talaga ako na parang gastos na lang talaga ang naiisip sa pasko?

i was worrying about this and then just this afternoon, BAM! i’m engulfed in a tidal wave of Christmas happenings. buying (exchange) gifts, thinking of what to get and wear, preparing for the party, etc… it’s overwhelming. hindi ako nakapag-handa. and nagulat na lang din ako na simula na pala ng simbang gabi mamaya! where have i been?!

kaya ngayon, parang naiiyak ako dahil di ako makahinga sa mga ginagawang paghahanda. i sometimes live for procrastination but this one is stressful. ngayon ko lang yata talaga naramdaman ang Christmas Stress, hindi Christmas Rush. a ‘rush’ for me has a more positive meaning. buti sana kung ganoon. pero ngayon, i just feel tired. which now makes me look forward to that break.

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