A farewell to motherhood

Shakira Sison’s article in today’s Rappler gave me a slight headache.

i just had it after reading her statement, “My point is that as gay people, parenthood is never an accident.” well duh!

it just feels as if heterosexuals have become these sexually-charged rabbits that only want to breed: “It is a carefully thought out and complicated process that makes it impossible to be a mom or dad on a whim, and guarantees that our children are always wanted and prepared for.” hindi ba parang nakaka-discriminate yan ng straight couples?

it is hardly a ‘carefully thought out and complicated process’ to NOT have baby/be a mom/dad. it is a biological impossibility (unless of course the couple is a lesbian-and-gay couple) for same-sex couples to create life on their own.

it saddens me to have people see children as somewhat a commodity — something that you ‘acquire’ or plan for. it sound more like you’re getting a car or a house rather than a human person. and this isn’t just for same-sex relationships. i know a lot of heterosexual couples who do the same thing.

but there are points that i do agree with. “The reality is that having a child for self-satisfaction when one is not ready is the more selfish act. The true purpose of a woman is to honor the creation of life by not doing it haphazardly.” this is true. that is why straight couples are taught self-mastery by controlling sexual urges. because sex is sacred. because it brings a unique person into the world. one should not do it haphazardly. not for the pleasure and self-satisfaction the act brings and not for the sake of just having a child so someone can take care of you when you grow old.

i think Erma Bombeck once described parenthood as something similar to flying a kite. only when one cuts the tether and see the kite fly on its own are we sure that we have done the right thing. yes, having children is a big responsibility. but we should raise them and have them not for ourselves but for their own. they are not expensive toys that poop and pee. they are human beings the day they are conceived. they are persons. they deserve the respect any human life deserves. they are gifts.


chivalry is bigotry

i think we do live in a time when values seemingly no longer matter.

this post is captioned with “Is chivalry dead? We really hope there was not a single male passenger inside that jeepney,” to which i would definitely agree with. but apparently, the more popular public consensus is that chivalry is not demanded of men and equality encourages us to let women do these things because #girlpower.

soon, i think, chivalry will become a bad thing. where belief in a man’s obligation to protect and defend women is considered bigotry — because it highlights a woman’s weakness, fragility.


i believe in an ‘equality’ where there are roles men need to do that women can’t as much as roles women need to do that men can’t. the ‘equality’ lies in the complementarity between the two. the ability of one fulfills the inability of the other. to say that all humans are equal requires you to demand all be uniform in skill, capability, and talent. but we are not all the same.

The Art of Manliness has become a great resource for me. not because i’m a chauvinist or hyper-male. it’s because i believe in chivalry still. i see its great lack in today’s world. and i see the need for men — manly men.