realizations from a soap dish

i was already deciding how to tweet this “genius moment” i had in the bathroom yesterday while preparing for work but the internet was down so i never got to it. that might have actually been a good thing since my TTMB mission.

so, what was this genius realization? it’s not that ground-breaking really. just that when you get married, you really don’t change the person the way you want to.

the soap dish at home is the same one i’ve been using since college. (i just realized it’s a 13-year old soap dish! gah!) it’s the kind that collects water inside it and turns the soap into mush if you let the water stand. i’ve always drained the water off after taking a bath out of muscle memory and habit. and no matter how many times i remind A to do it, she often forgets. at first, i used to be so irritated whenever she forgot to turn the dish over. it felt as if she broke my cellphone or something. now, when she forgets, i turn it over and then go about my business in the bathroom. i don’t stress over it or how she doesn’t seem to learn or care about my sanity. 😛 i just moved on, i guess.

i had to chuckle a bit, realizing how i changed myself. i may have just graduated to the next level of patience. or that we marry a person and think we can change his or her ways that annoy us. that they would conform because they love us. i realized that it’s the other way around — we change ourselves to conform to their ways. we adjust and compromise and change ourselves because we love them. love is always directed towards others, not ourselves. love radiates outward, not inward. because love is giving of one’s self.


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