because I dread the loss of heaven*

i could barely open my eyes last night while i was thinking about this in the jeepney… and i’m feeling the exact same way right now as i write this in the office. (oops!)

i just thought about A and myself and how we’ve been through ups and downs in our months-old marriage. and with a lot of trials, it’s easier to question yourself, “why am i doing this?” or perhaps “is this really worth saving/doing?” everything seems so difficult and you just want to leave everything behind because it’s easy.

but when i think about losing A, a lump in my throat gets my attention.

your spouse is like heaven. you do everything right, despite the difficulties, because you dread its loss. you sometimes try to stow it away in one corner so you could do whatever you wish or maybe ignore it and act like you don’t care. but in the end, when you think about losing heaven, your knees buckle and will come back crying repentance and overflow with love and desire for it.

makes sense ba? nagpapanggap na pilosopo lang today. XD

*from the Act of Contrition (also sampled in Madonna’s “Girls Gone Wild”)

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