Thor Productions, why did you have to break our hearts? :(

Update (2016/05/05): I didn’t realize that this entry would have a life of its own four years after I wrote it. anyway, in the name of fairness, as you’ll read in the comments, i already resolved this with the team about two months after they found out i wrote this in 2012. ThorProductions has replied to more recent incidents (2016) (see comments) and I hope this will be settled amicably like we did. Thor left his email address and contact information.

N.B. I wrote this blog as a personal documentation of my experiences and emotions. though resolved, this is part of my life i made public and wish to share with others.

perfect na eh. perfect na sana. pero wala pa ding nangyayari…

if you remember, i posted something very personal on this blog and it was somehow a review of our videographer, thorProductions. i really had a good feeling about them and we trusted them immensely. but i’m afraid that it’s fading away slowly everyday.

we got married over 9 months ago and were happy about the delivery of our on-site video when they sent it just after a month. actually, A and I thought that the DVD sent to us was the final DVD of the whole event. it was actually the same on-site video I downloaded from their vimeo account. i was impressed na sana kasi i thought ambilis nila mag-produce ng output! up to this day, we haven’t received the DVD of the coverage of our wedding.

what’s so disappointing actually isn’t the waiting. pwede naman kaming mag-hintay. ang ayaw ko lang ay yung pinapa-asa ka nila. they say they’ll deliver the final product by the end of December. January comes and they say end of February. March comes and goes, wala pa din. in 5 days, May na. wala pa din kaming natatanggap or update man lang. actually, i emailed them using our old thread during our negotiations with Thor and Carmela and their new email address eventsbythor@gmail.com pero hanggang ngayon, walang reply.

here’s what i wrote them: Magpatuloy sa pagbasa

pretending to know what i’m doing

LJ’s been sleeping for quite some time now because she’s sick. she has broken pegs. 😦 didn’t have time and money to have them replaced and have her checked for the longest time… a little too long, in my opinion. so i attempted to make relieve her of some stress by removing the broken pegs. 🙂

my heart was beating fast each time i hit the peg with the screw driver. i thought i was going to break something else, causing more harm than help. but in the end, it was successful and it felt really good being able to do this on my own.

the broken pegs were stuck primarily because she was in an ill-fitting case which squeezed them in got them stuck. so, to avoid this thing in the future, i’m going to need to buy a new case for LJ. 🙂

because I dread the loss of heaven*

i could barely open my eyes last night while i was thinking about this in the jeepney… and i’m feeling the exact same way right now as i write this in the office. (oops!)

i just thought about A and myself and how we’ve been through ups and downs in our months-old marriage. and with a lot of trials, it’s easier to question yourself, “why am i doing this?” or perhaps “is this really worth saving/doing?” everything seems so difficult and you just want to leave everything behind because it’s easy.

but when i think about losing A, a lump in my throat gets my attention.

your spouse is like heaven. you do everything right, despite the difficulties, because you dread its loss. you sometimes try to stow it away in one corner so you could do whatever you wish or maybe ignore it and act like you don’t care. but in the end, when you think about losing heaven, your knees buckle and will come back crying repentance and overflow with love and desire for it.

makes sense ba? nagpapanggap na pilosopo lang today. XD

*from the Act of Contrition (also sampled in Madonna’s “Girls Gone Wild”)

tongue on autopilot

A has been asking me to ‘train’ her to speak the language by talking to her in straight kapampangan. but i somehow always forget. maybe because i met her as a tagalog-speaking manileña and that’s what’s stuck in my subconscious. but whenever i meet a friend from pampanga in manila, i just speak to him/her in kapampangan even as i greet and ask, “o, komusta na ka?” (“how are you?”). and usually, this happens when i’m with friends who aren’t kapampangan so it feels kinda weird because we were conversing for about 5 mins already before i notice and try to speak in tagalog instead. i don’t know if i should apologize or explain what we were talking about the past 5 mins or so.

no, it’s not being mayabang. and neither is it being insensitive, in my opinion. i just think that God might have given me a tongue that’s on autopilot whenever i meet a kabalen.