my “friend”: Homosexual people are disgusting. They should understand that love can exist only between a man and a woman.
me: Do you love your boyfriend?
my “friend”: Of course! I love him so much. You can’t even imagine. I’ve never been so in love in my life. I want to marry him.
me: So please imagine now that your boyfriend’s penis disappears and suddenly he has a vagina. Nothing else changes in him, he’s still the same person you know. What is your reaction?
my “friend”: That would be horrible. I don’t want to even think about it. I couldn’t imagine being with him.
me: That means you don’t love him. You love only his dick. That’s sad.
that’s not me nor my friend. i just grabbed that from a friend’s tumblr post… i’m not sure if she’s the original poster or re-posted it (i’m not a tumblr user) or she might’ve just overheard this. nevertheless, i just somehow felt a compulsion to answer… and maybe test my own personal view and faith in this matter.
my friend is a Protestant — perhaps one of the more liberal ones. i am a relatively Traditionalist Catholic albeit liberal as well as i was trained in a secular, public, and liberal university known for its academic freedom. so there are differences already there. more often than not, the conversation ends in a “what the Bible says vs. what the Church says” debate. it becomes a debate on authority. Protestants say that each of them has the authority to interpret the Bible through the Holy Spirit. Catholics say that they also have the same but submit ultimately to the authority of the Church in the Bible’s interpretation. that being said, i will have to declare that if i may say something contrary to official Church teaching, may i please be corrected and i shall submit to such authority.
my initial reaction to this would be that “me” was right. if you love a person, you love the whole person no matter what his/her physical conditions are. if your boyfriend gets a nose-lift, he remains the same person but with a different nose. if your girlfriend has breast cancer and has her breasts removed, he remains the same person. that should not diminish your love for that person. otherwise, what “me” said would be true — you only love that part of him/her and not him/her as a person. that is indeed sad.
on the other hand, after some contemplation, i asked myself if this is true love they were talking about. is the love they are referring to merely a feeling? is it merely being “in love” or is it real “love”? then what IS real love?
in a non-religious way, for me, if you really love a person, you marry that person because marriage declares to the world “i love you so much that i’m willing to be here for you and stand by you and give my whole self to you — body, heart, mind, and soul — ’til death separate us.” and there is an exchange of this… a mutual giving. couldn’t homosexuals do the same? if they can, then why can’t we let them enter marriage?
to me, these are some reasons: my definition includes the BODY. biologically, man was made for woman. an expression of love between man and woman through their bodies is the mutual giving of themselves by having sex. one might argue this is simple romanticism of the act. but it isn’t. we are designed as such to ensure the continuation of our species just like other animals (physical) but are made to enjoy it at the same time. the enjoyment is not mere pleasure but something more which i still can’t put my finger on or i’m just finding difficulty to describe. perhaps that is the kind of love i’m looking for.
can’t that love exist between two men or two women? perhaps just one but not both… you may feel the “connection” or the aspect of giving ones self but not fulfill the biological purpose — one does not give himself/herself FULLY. still, heterosexual couples aren’t excused from the same condition. that is the responsibility of the married couple — to fulfill that promise in marriage and ensure that the fullness of mutual giving is met.
i’m not sure if i made sense at all. or if i worded everything right according to how i view things. but that is my belief and my understanding.
P.S. to clarify things about Catholic teaching, we do not condemn homosexuals. “They must be accepted with respect, compassion, and sensitivity. Every sign of unjust discrimination in their regard should be avoided. These persons are called to fulfill God’s will in their lives…” says the Catechism.