what should i be reading?

i have that big question right now. i really need a lot of reading to do. i KNOW that i have to read and learn a lot. every cell in my brain is screaming at me: FEED ME INFORMATION!!! but when i do, they start to hang… or they eat the information with small, itsy bitsy, tiny, little toy spoons meant for feeding… i don’t know… atoms? so it takes so long for me to digest all this information. i have to read a page of text 3 or 4 times! (ok, i think i should give myself a break. it’s got equations on it. but i wasn’t this slow before! grrr…)

i used to interpret these things easily. maybe i’ve just been too dormant, had too long a vacation doing nothing but playing plants vs. zombies… *gasp!* or maybe… the Zombies ate my brains! *Nooooooo!!!*

depression? i think i’ve had enough emo thoughts. too much on my mind? yeah… maybe i need to clear up some space. but don’t we use just about 10% of our brain? i guess there’s really more room up there so i shouldn’t bother cleaning it up. organize… i should organize. even my thoughts while writing this entry are flying. incoherent. just snippets of whatever passes by my brain… or whatever section that is of the brain. cerebrum? cerebelum? whatever.

do i have to learn more physics? can’t i learn that from someone else in a lecture? my comprehension of these ideas isn’t exactly like that of Richard Feynman’s but i have to understand these things… and i have to know more. i have to know a lot more than what i currently know. it’s depressing to know how little you actually know.

yeah. looks like i’m just back to being plain emo.