Christmas frustration

paskong pasko na ako.

ramdam ko na ang pasko everytime i wake up. malamig na ang ginigisingan kong kuwarto, nagkukumot ako’t namamaluktot sa lamig madalas. kahit tanghaling tapat, OK lang di magpayong. medyo overcast ang langit at masarap mag stroll-stroll lang sa daan. and to make me feel even more Christmas-y, naglagay na ako ng Christmas themed wallpaper sa aking desktop. However, di ako ganoon kasaya sa nakuha kong wallpapers. yung isa, it’s a landscape of snow-covered pine trees, most everything in a hue of blue and the sunset giving an warm feeling and a sense of excitement that something is coming. you are looking forward to something this night or the next. nice diba?

the other one is a bunch of fallen leaves predominantly in the colors of Christmas (red and green) but signify fall (before the winter season). the fallen leaves have this parang snow on them kaya it gives the Christmas-y feel. pero when i put it on my desktop, it just doesn’t feel Christmas enough. kulang. hollow. bitin. di ko talaga maintindihan pero di ko maramdaman ang pasko kahit na ganun ang nakikita ko. hindi ko naman masabing dahil sa hirap ng buhay talaga pero it doesn’t feel right. hindi pasko para sa akin ang snow, red and green, Christmas tree o taglagas. eventually, na-realize ko kung ano ang hinahanap ko… PAROL.

bakit ba walang taong gumagawa ng parol wallpaper? gusto kong makapaglagay ng parol sa aking laptop. imposible naman, siyempre, na magsabit ako ng parol. duh? gusto kong ipakita or maramdaman man lang na “oi! paskong pinoy yata ang sine-celebrate ko!” so idadagdag ko sa aking wishlist ngayong pasko: Parol or Paskong Pinoy wallpaper…

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