shake it off

feeling ko eh tigilan ko na dapat ang negativity.

kagagaling ko lang sa exam kagabi. pft… walang nangyari. 2 weeks notice was spent on other things. then everything else came falling down. everything just came apart. alam mo yun? yung feeling mo eh inaayos mo yung isang bagay tapos isang twerka lang tinanggal mo eh laglag lahat ng parts?

tapos eh nang-aaway pa ako. siguro isang factor yun. minsan sa boredom eh kung ano-anong kasiraan ng ulo ginagawa ko. naghahanap ng away, nagpapaka-bayani. i’m sure it’s an ego thing. plus the fact i came from UP eh nako-confirm ko na din na may attitude nga ang mga tao dun. i always thought of myself as humble and meek and hindi naman show-off. pero i think deep inside eh ganun ako. plus lalong lumaki ang ego ko pagka-graduate ko dun. parang “hah! o, kaya niyo magtapos sa UP?”

i feel smart. i feel i’m better than the common pinoy. i feel i’m superior. i feel i can save the world. but somehow, may mga nangyayari sa buhay mo and you start to get the feeling na factor sila sa feeling mo. and you just have to get rid of them.

i tried to say “goodbye” to this other habit i had but i just had to go back. ayaw kong padaig. ego thing going on again. so ngayon, i’m resolved not to care anymore about that person, whatever he says, whatever the insults. take it all in stride. and then just shake it off, man… shake it off…

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