blank mind

who do i write for? damn… ano-ano na naman pinag-iiisip ko eh samantalang andami na ngang gumugulo sa utak ko ngayon.

i just hate mondays. lalo na kung they don’t start off right. when you’re feeling down, depressed, confused, floating… i have this “i don’t care” attitude na rin ngayon. is that good or bad? parang gusto ko lang kasi mabuhay ng normal. or maybe i’m dreaming of “the good life.” no worries, nothing to bother me, everything practically solved.

but there are things na hindi pwedeng takasan. gaya ng exam ko sa thursday na hindi ko pa naaaral. di ko alam paano ang type of exam, objective, problem solving, data analysis… at kailangan ko ring pumasok sa subject na yun ngayong 6pm.

kaka-browse ko lang sa blog ni kris. basta, medyo tinamaan ako. at mas tinamaan ako dun sa na-quote niya sa “Little Miss Sunshine” na di ko pa napapanood.

Dwayne: I wish I could just sleep until I was eighteen and skip all this crap-high school and everything-just skip it.

Frank: You know Marcel Proust?

Dwayne: He’s the guy you teach.

Frank: Yeah. French writer. Total loser. Never had a real job. Unrequited love affairs. Gay. Spent 20 years writing a book almost no one reads. But he’s also probably the greatest writer since Shakespeare. Anyway, he uh… he gets down to the end of his life, and he looks back and decides that all those years he suffered, those were the best years of his life, ’cause they made him who he was. All those years he was happy? You know, total waste. Didn’t learn a thing. So, if you sleep until you’re 18… Ah, think of the suffering you’re gonna miss. I mean high school? High school-those are your prime suffering years. You don’t get better suffering than that.

should i suffer more, then? i simply hate the feeling. hindi na ako high school, pero ganun pa din… syete


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