wanted: sleep. again.

remember that last, quite sentimental post i made? scrap that. reality is sinking in. i want my sleep back! :P

of course, i’m not giving up my son for adoption anytime soon. kailangan lang talaga yata mag-adjust… when i asked my officemate how long before she could sleep through the entire night before being woken up by a crying baby, ang sagot sa akin ay, “ummm… mga 3 years?”

i was like WHAT THE HELL!? 3 years before i get my 8-hour sleep again!? ahuhuhu…

and now i’m feeling all the pain of lacking sleep like never before. yes, thank you aging. maraming salamat at ramdam ko ang antok di lang sa hapon kundi maghapon na.

and when you arrive home, tapos na dapat ang trabaho diba? well, not exactly. just like when i got married, i sometimes cook, do the laundry, iron clothes. sometimes. but now since someone else is in-charge, there’s no rest for the wicked dead-tired parent.

time to clean the bottles. boil more water. throw the dirty diapers. sterilize. burp the baby. soothe the baby. make the baby comfy. CR break… (long pause) and then carry the baby because he just woke up. etc.

you get the picture.

but man is it all worth it.

when our janitor would clean the office, we’d have some short conversation and one time he mentioned about his son. at kung paanong ‘nakaka-wala ng pagod’ kapag nakikita mo ang anak mo. i nodded and smiled but found that hard to believe then.

now, i understand.

a new life

when A and i got married, i expected some sort of new life. it was uncomfortable at times having left my bubble of security and familiarity with what i knew that would please me. i had to adjust but it wasn’t as difficult as what i am adjusting to now.

i am renewed everyday. i am being hammered and formed into someone better. because we have been entrusted with a new life, a new person, an entire human being.

i am now a father to a son.

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and it is fitting, i guess, that i write this on Ash Wednesday. when we are reminded of what we are and i realize what i am holding in my hands when i burp him at night and when i sway him to sleep. from ashes comes life. from ‘nothingness’ a person is made. and yet the one i cradle in my arms is someone more precious than everything in the entire world.

i am made to reflect what should i value more now. i am blessed with a new life, a new being, as well as being formed into this new life of parenthood.

Orale! BGC review

orele feature

when the hunger pangs of a pregnant woman strike, you can’t do anything but obey them.

but it was fortunate i had a craving for mexican food as well. :D

A had been having these cravings for mexican food in november. she’s been asking around in her office if they knew of any resto nearby. we’ve eaten at mexicali and agave and zapata’s already and i guess we wanted to know how another one would compare.

one officemate, she said, recommended Orale! in BGC. and since we lived nearby, it was perfect for us even if it was late afternoon when we went.

it had a rough finish of patchwork of cement on the walls, dark wooden tables and chairs and the menu was written on chalkboards in carved frames. the shelves make a countertop where the kitchen serves your order. on one end of the shelf is the cashier’s counter by the door. above the kitchen ‘window’ is one big mural showing everything mexican. other items on display include beer bottles, a soccer ball, and decorated skulls. (!!!) made me wonder if they were real but i didn’t bother asking… because i didn’t know if i would be fascinated or troubled by it. hahaha!

Magpatuloy sa pagbasa

the holy father is here!!!

VATICAN - POPE-GRENATINES

holiday man, pero dahil madaming gawain at utang sa trabaho, pumasok pa din ako sa opisina ngayon. di naman required pero medyo kailangan lang gumawa ng mga bagay-bagay para naman makahinga kami next week.

pero di din talaga nakatutok sa trabaho. una, sinumpong na naman ang PC ko. mga 1 oras ko din siya binutingting bago napa-andar. tapos eh nag-window-shopping sa national. ayun, nakabili ng libro ng di oras. haha. pero isa lang naman dahilan bakit holiday ngayon: dumating si Pope Francis.

di ako fan ni Pope Francis. what i mean by that is i’m not as enthusiastic as others na pupunta siya dito. i’m the “ah, ok. that’s cool.” person. i’m not the “OMG OMG OMG! he’s really coming here to visit us!!!” type. sabi ko pa nga sa status ko sa FB eh mas excited ako ma-meet si Msgr. Guido Marini.

Magpatuloy sa pagbasa

and i will remember her forever

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she was a guest in one cultural event in Balay Kalinaw where my amateur self played violin as intermission. i was shaking with an involuntary vibrato. even i knew my performance was awful. but she applauded when i finished and told me, “that was wonderful! wonderful!” she reminded me of a lola so proud of her apo no matter what.

i will always remember her kindness in that brief moment i met her.

none other than Susan Calo-Medina was that ‘proud lola’.

Magpatuloy sa pagbasa

my wish for my parish

it’s been 3 years since i’ve moved to manila since A and I got hitched. there’s a chapel just around the corner from the house where i heard mass only once (since it’s in tagalog). it’s a “cozy” chapel but it seems to lack something… walang dating. walang BOOM factor. i (at least) feel it lacks umpf! or lacks creativity to make you wonder and reflect and direct your thoughts to God…

but i’m not active in church so i really don’t know who to approach with this proposal. i posted it on the parish facebook page but had nobody seemed to take interest in the idea. *sigh*

so i might as well post and describe it here.

san isidro chapel retablo

Magpatuloy sa pagbasa

i never felt the christmas rush. ever. until this afternoon.

dati-rati, halos Nobyembre palang, gustong-gusto ko na mag-Christmas break na. nakakatamad na pumasok araw-araw. pero ngayon, parang “meh!” nothing. nawalan na ba ako ng Christmas spirit? di naman. nararamdaman ko naman eh. kaso lang parang other things took priority over other stuff. to the point na parang everything is just part of the daily grind. “uy, Monday na naman. pasok na ulit.” “ayan, Wednesday na. humpday!” “yehey, Friday! weekend!!!”

walang countdown to the vacation. tumatanda na ba talaga ako na parang gastos na lang talaga ang naiisip sa pasko?

i was worrying about this and then just this afternoon, BAM! i’m engulfed in a tidal wave of Christmas happenings. buying (exchange) gifts, thinking of what to get and wear, preparing for the party, etc… it’s overwhelming. hindi ako nakapag-handa. and nagulat na lang din ako na simula na pala ng simbang gabi mamaya! where have i been?!

kaya ngayon, parang naiiyak ako dahil di ako makahinga sa mga ginagawang paghahanda. i sometimes live for procrastination but this one is stressful. ngayon ko lang yata talaga naramdaman ang Christmas Stress, hindi Christmas Rush. a ‘rush’ for me has a more positive meaning. buti sana kung ganoon. pero ngayon, i just feel tired. which now makes me look forward to that break.