masarap ang nilaga sa tag-ulan

surprise, surprise! hahaha! nagpapaka-profound na naman.

ang hirap lagi ng dilemma ko pag weekends: ano ang lulutuin ko? LOL!

well, dahil sa tag-ulan na at malamig ang panahon, naisipan namin na mag-nilagang baboy na lang. tutal, mahilig din sa sabaw ang taong maliit.πŸ™‚

and you know what? it’s really comforting to have something warm in your tummy during cold weather. kape man yan o ibang sinabawang ulam. and it makes you feel like everything is alright in the world (even if it’s not).

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although may pinagkaiba ang nilaga namin at ang nilaga nila A: repolyo ginagamit ko. pechay baguio ang nakasanayan nila. wala pa kaming compromise kaya para sa ikatatahimik ng buhay namin, pechay baguio ang ginamit ko.πŸ˜› LOL!

may isang bagay naman kaming napagkakasunduan sa ganitong bagay: panalo kapag may patis na may sili.πŸ™‚

puro ka na lang reklamo

I’ve read somewhere today this thing:

“Repeated complaining rewires your brain to make future complaining more likely. Over time, you find it’s easier to be negative than to be positive, regardless of what’s happening around you. Complaining becomes your default behavior, which changes how people perceive you.”

which i realized was just one of my phases these past months. all my posts seemed so gloomy. of course, it did reflect how i was feeling those days, being surrounded by complaints. however, i always forget that it is not just a choice to ignore or not be affected by all the negativity. if you accept them and offer them up, they become more bearable. and once you offer them up, you begin to see slivers of light, and then smile a little.

THEN it becomes your responsibility to pursue that light. even if the complaints are never ending. when everyone is so negative, you can be that positive force for everyone. draining? yes, of course it is. tiring? definitely. but when i think about it in another perspective, i feel somewhat happier — they choose to tell you things instead of telling another person. you are the “lucky” one.πŸ˜›

so, despite the rains, i manage to smile. even if everything’s leaking in the house, i still find reason to be thankful. even if i hear complaints all the time, i still listen as attentively as i could. why? because i was chosen to be the “lucky, special” person someone complains to.

bakit ako nahilig sa “samurai”

some people siguro na-inspire magkaroon ng katana (which older people called ‘samurai’ in the 90s kaya ako eh ‘samurai’ na din tawag ko noon) eh dahil sa japanese movies. meanwhile, ako naman, dahil sa show na to:

Yep, Highlander. mas una ko napanood TV Show kesa movie dahil siguro mas mataas ang PG rating niya?

i remember when we’d make swords out of bamboo, my friends would always make ones after the “Western” sword — a long straight blade with a guard across it. meawhile, i like mine curved with the tip to one side instead of in the middle. kasi nga, yun yung nakikita ko.

di ko naman alam kung totoo or tama yung sa sword fights nila sa show. but i like how they could flip and swish the sword around so quickly. tapos wala man lang sugat kahit hindi tumitingin pag itatago na yung espada. asteeeeeg!

pero more recently, i’ve become re-interested in european swords. dahil kay san ignacio… and maybe Saber Rider na din before. na-re-awaken nga lang siguro dahil sa Ignacio de Loyola na movie. hahaha!

anybody else fancy swords here?

my grandfather’s hands

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here’s a picture of a picture of my grandfather who i never got to see alive. but a lot of things around our old house in Pampanga tell me a lot about him, from what my father would often narrate to me.

the sewing machine he used when they were making curtains and RTW that they’d bring to Tutuban in Manila via train. The monocle he used for repairing watches. the plow when they used to farm the land. the bow and clay bar he used when polishing and cleaning jewelry. the chisels he used when making ladders from the bamboo in our backyard. the violin he played during processions.

his hands were busy, skilled hands. they were the hands of a hard-working man.

thinking about this makes me feel like i really have big shoes to fill. or at least, i have this proud heritage that i want to preserve and keep.

my father could do much of what my grandfather did. and my father added one more — he repaired electrical appliances. of course, you needed to know a bit more about electronics, soldering, etc. and these he passed on to me as well. i never got to learn how to repair watches though. hehe… but i inherited lolo’s violin playing, something my father did not. so i guess we’re even.πŸ™‚

SONA thoughts

he sounded bored at first. but it kinda picked up when he went “off script”. and he kept doing it throughout the speech… and it wasn’t stately, it wasn’t profound. it was plain language and quite intense at times… but you knew which ones he felt so strongly about. some words came out but somehow felt like lip service — specifically religion and human rights.

eventually it became clear which parts were by him and which were just written from reports from Cabinet members. honestly, his speech writer could do better. i’ve seen slides from facebook that were exactly what the president said in his “speech”. so much for being surprised. but those parts weren’t “him”.

i know he was sincere. i know that from his mind, what he’s doing is right, and good. from his heart, he really believes he can do something about what he perceives to be plagues in the country: drugs and corruption. which saddens me. truly saddens me.

that is only one form of corruption. it is material corruption and addiction. to nip this in the bud, the culture must change. from my perspective, the ‘quick fix’ will just be a temporary solution. perhaps in his term, all will be well in the country. what about the following years? i hope what he implements brings true change. hindi “ningas cogon” sa mga pilipino.

i am still hopeful despite these negative thoughts. i am willing to be part of the change. however, will my voice be listened to when i have something to say? or will it fall on deaf ears that are so determined to effect the change they want? sana… sana.

not what was promised

seriously, i’m scared.

from where i worked, a man was shot allegedly because he witnessed a robbery.

from where i live, just a few blocks away, 3 men were shot because of alleged involvement in drugs in two separate occasions: last week and just yesterday.

from the road that is traversed by the jeep i ride home, a woman was shot because she was mistaken for another person allegedly involved in drugs.

this isn’t the change i wanted. i don’t want fear. i want security.

for mistaken identities or collateral damage, so far, all i hear is, “oops! sorry…” where’s the justice in that?

don’t take my sunshine away

you all remember Goldie, right? No? Read this, then.

Updated? Good.

Fast forward to last night, I couldn’t believe what I saw and read: Goldie is battling it out with cancer. She had mastectomy done last May and that’s how they learned about the HER2 StageII cancer.

I honestly don’t know where to begin.

you are my sunshine, my only sunshine

Goldie {image from her GoGetFunding page}

she was my special girl in HS. she was my sunshine. and even if it wasn’t mutual then, and now i’ve married and she’s to-be-married (!!!), we know that these people, they occupy that one place in our memories and hearts.

hindi ko na siya mahal gaya ng dati. pero dahil minsan ay minahal ko siya, iba pa din yung takot, pag-aalala, at pangamba na nararamdaman ko.

at our age, di ba dapat hindi ito ang pino-problema namin? that should come later in life, when we’re all wrinkly, old and grey. yung mga sakit-sakit na yan, dapat pag matanda ka na saka lang sila magka-permiwo na dumapo sa tao. hindi ngayon.

it’s not fair.

andaming masasamang tao sa mundo, bakit di na lang sila? ang daming pangit ang ugali, bakit di na lang sila? andaming ibang tao na mas deserving sa ganitong mga bagay. hindi si Goldie.

and then i always remember Romans 8:28. “We know that in everything God works for good with those who love Him, who are called according to His purpose.”

Please pray for her. if you can, please help her win this fight.